To Whom Who May Catch Me

Monday, August 07, 2017

Wearing Stargazer Seven Deadly Sins tank top.

This is the latest photograph of myself, no photoshop involved. Here I am breathing, supporting my 43kg self after the storm(s) that I've been through. Please note that the most important thing here is that I am still breathing.

The last two months wasn't lovely. You thought 2016 was bad, for me two months back is twice worse than 2016.

I was lost,
I lost vision of my own future.
I lost things that I've been put my effort into.
I lost catch and I seem to fall.
Hell, I am still falling.

I fall to the point where I'm questioning why am I still here when I have no purpose to be here. I am damaged badly. I have battlescars here and everywhere, physically and mentally. And I hope you would notice.

If you happen to catch me, keep in mind that I am not the person that I used to be. I am more difficult now, I've seen the worst of life and I was about to give up.

If you happen to catch me, let me tell you that I am not as strong as before, even they said what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, unfortunately it doesn't happen to me. I am weak and I need help.

If you happen to catch me, I want you to know that I have lots of thing to ask, stories to tell, and mind to speak. Unfortunately, I am not good at personally delivering it. Please do not give up on me, I speak better through writings but I am trying my best to say it directly to you.

If you happen to catch me, please never be unsure. Hesitation only leads you to leave. If you want to leave, do it right now.

If you happen to catch me, I hope you put me back on my feet.

I might regret writing this in the future and delete it. If that day comes, I hope you have read this. So you will have a glimpse of clue of what you caught.

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